So apparently Java 8 was installed to another location outside my program files folders. I don't remember changing the destination folder location, but I must have. I did a complete uninstall and reinstall of java, and it seems to have resolved the issue. either that, or the java 8 update simply rewrote the files in the jre7 folder. I really don't know what the hell happened, but it seems to be resolved.
A bit of constructive criticism on the past few posts: The excessive sarcasm was not warranted. If you want to give advice, don't condescend me like I'm some kid who has no idea how to operate more than just the most basic operations of a computer. Please be aware, I'm not trying to be dickish, just explaining my frustration-amplified thoughts. I'm not butthurt, and normally everything that you guys said would have made perfect sense, and I still thank you for trying to help.